my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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