One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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