Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
