I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
