So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
