Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever

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(951): View more from California

hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.

Fav 22 4564 1874
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."

Fav 51 4849 919
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(972): View more from Texas

i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer

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(651): View more from Minnesota

News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start

Fav 7 945 3609
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(714): View more from California

i perioded on his leg

(714): View more from California

on. his. leg.

Fav 49 1388 11048
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(605): View more from South Dakota

If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass

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