I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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