Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
