Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
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Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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