covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
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I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
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Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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