I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
