I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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