i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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