I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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