I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
