Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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