In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
