i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
