I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
