Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes