we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.