Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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