you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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