Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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