jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize