Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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