Non-Jews are for practice
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The ass gains better be worth it
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