I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize