Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
