My first STD was from a foam party
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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