Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
