So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
