he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
