weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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