Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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