Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
