I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
