Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
