who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I feel like abortions should bother me more
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
