Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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