just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
