thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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