I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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