I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
