nut hugger
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
