Whod you bang
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
