It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
