she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am spending my child support on dildos
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
