wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
