Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
