She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
