omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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