everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
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She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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