Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
