im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
