Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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