Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
