she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
