he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm passing your future prison.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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