I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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