She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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