A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
and you said cock pushups were impossible
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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