He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize