Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
